The Starfish
As I walked along the seashore
this young boy greeted me
He was tossing stranded starfish
back to the deep blue sea.
I said "Tell me why you bother,
why you waste your time this way
There's a million stranded starfish,
does it matter, anyway?"
And he said "It matters to this one,
It deserves a chance to grow.
It matters to this one;
I can't save them all I know.
But it matters to this one,
I'll return it to the sea.
It matters to this one,
And it matters to me."
--Author Unknown--
Memories Of You
I remember everything about you,
your voice, you smile, your touch,
the way you walked, the way you talked,
the way you looked at me, meant so much.
I remember all the words you said to me,
some funny, some kind, some wise,
all of the things you did for me,
I see now with different eyes.
I remember every moment we shared,
seems like only yesterday,
or maybe it was eons ago,
It's really hard to say.
You are gone from me now,
but one they can't take away
and lights up my darkest days...
Anonymous
Facts About Grief
Grief will take longer than most people think.
Grief takes more energy than we ever imagine.
Grief shows itself in all spheres of our life,
in the emotional , social, physical, and spiritual.
We feel grief not only for the actual person we lost, but also for our hopes, dreams,
unfulfilled expectations, and unmet needs.
New losses bring up unresolved grief from our past, often forcing us to cope
with an array of confusing feelings at once.
Grief can temporarily affect our decision-making and problem-solving abilities
and cause difficulties in concentrating.
Sometimes grief makes us feel we "are going crazy."
Society has unrealistic expectations about grief and the mourning process
and people may respond inappropriately to you.
Grief may cause a variety of physical symptoms,
like sleeplessness, tightness in the chest, and decreased energy.
Family people may not always provide the support you expect.
And their grief may be very different from yours.
Sometimes we have the necessary social support to help us through loss.
But more often, we need to reach out for support,
let others know what you need, and actively build a network that facilitates
personal growth and renewal.
If you need space to be quiet and alone, this need should be allowed.
If you want to be close, your support system should make every effort to relate in a
loving and receptive way.
Talking about your loved one, sharing memories, and pondering the "whys" of your loss
are necessary parts of grieving. When you want to talk,
your support system should do its best to listen without judgement of your thoughts and feelings.
You don't need to hide your sorrow or find places to cry alone. When tears come,
you should be encouraged to let them flow.
Don't ever take for granted that you are doing well just because you aren’t talking about your loss.
Your support system should agree to regularly check with you, discussing ways
to be more supportive and nurturing.
During the first year and perhaps beyond, make it a point to celebrate the memory
of your loved one on holidays and anniversaries.
Expect to feel a greater depth of sadness on these days and try to plan meaningful activities.
Disposing of personal items that belonged to the person you loved will be done slowly,
your support should make every attempt to consider all of your feelings.
Sometimes your sorrow will affect yourr family relationships in surprising or unpleasant ways.
When this occurs, your support should try its best to explore your feelings,
making every effort to resolve them together.
Some of your family members will adjust to your loss sooner than others and that is okay.
Understand that no one can meet all of another person's needs, especially during
this difficult time of grief. It is alright if you turn to people outside your
family for help and support.
Understand that the world too soon forgets about your loss and acts as if
nothing ever happened. For this reason, your support system should support you over the long haul.
Never assume that you are either too young or too old to grieve.
Trying to be “strong” for others often postpones grief and the rebuilding process.
Do not expect youself to be strong for others.
Rather, only take responsibility for your own healing.
Sometime in our lives, we all have had to deal
with the loss of a loved one, be it a family
member or a friend. However loosing someone to
suicide is something which is so different from
the things in which we can't control. When someone
that you love makes the choice to end their life,
those left behind are left with many unanswered
questions. Then you have the people that say "oh,
suicide, that's the coward's way out." I say
they're WRONG! A person who chooses to take their
own life is feeling a pain deeper than anything
hopefully you and I will ever feel. What all of us
need to do is start listening and looking for
signs that someone you love may be thinking about
suicide.
We must open our ears, our eyes, and our hearts,
and put a stop to suicide!
Every 18 minutes a precious life is lost to suicide
Every 19 minutes many lives are left behind to pick up the pieces
*Warning Signs of Suicide*
Depression
Feeling hopeless or helpless
Anger or hostility
Inability to feel pleasure
Guilt
Isolation or withdrawal
Insomnia
Loss of appetite
Impulsive behavior
Thinking a lot about death
Thoughts, words, or actions that are "end centered"
Giving things away that are valued
Ending important relationships or commitments
Sudden uplift in mood after depression
Sudden change in behavior or disruptive behavior
Promiscuity
Severe outbursts of temper
Drug use
Not going to work or school
Unable to carry out normal daily tasks in life
If you or someone you know has one or more of
these warning signs, please talk to someone, if
you don't know who to turn to, and feel like all
your hope is gone, pick up the phone and call one
of these numbers. GET HELP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-784-2433
Toll-Free in the U.S. 24 hours / 7 days
National Crisis Line
The Help Line USA Toll-Free / 24 Hours
1-866-334-HELP 1-866-334-4357
TeenLine Hotline Help Center
4:00pm - 10:00pm
(714) NEW-TEEN (714) 639-8336
1-888-747-TEEN 1-888-747-8336
For Information and Resources
American Association of Suicidology
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Child & Adolescent Bipolar Foundation
Depression & Related Affective Disorders Association
National Institute of Mental Health
Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network
Say The Word, Help prevent teen suicide
Suicide Prevention Center
1-888-333-2377 - American Association for Suicide Prevention
1-877-727-4747 - Suicide Prevention Center
"Every 18 minutes someone in the US dies by Suicide"
"Every 19 minutes someone is left behind to make sense of it"
Help for those left behind
1-310-751-5370 - Survivors After Suicide
Journey Through Suicide Grief
Journey Through Suicide Grief
c/o Canadian Mental Health
555 George Street
Prince George, BC
(250) 964-2207
Road 2 Healing
1000 Deaths
Survivors of Suicide
Parents of Suicide
Surviving Suicide
Depression and Suicide
Suicide...Read this first
Sibling Survivors of Suicide
Other Survivors of Suicide Links
Suicide Information and Education Center (SIEC)
When No One Knows Your Pain
Questions And Answers About Depression
  
Music is "If I Saw You In Heaven"
Eric Clapton
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